|Re: What are the extra functions?|
Message #7 Posted by NH on 27 May 2003, 10:30 p.m.,
in response to message #6 by Gene
The 12C sports a variety of new special MBA boardroom features,
* pay-raise program to determine the highest possible executive pay-raises while a company is going bankrupt. Hit 2nd-shift button to determine corresponding pay-cuts to employees.
* hostile takeover share price calculations
* employee paycut percentage calculator, enter the monetary value of an outstanding employee's corporate contributions, the calculator responds with how much to cut that employee's pay. 2nd-shift button for hack-jobs and non-producing employees, to determine correct amount to raise their pay.
* builtin earnings-sheet fraud generator program
* automatic solve function to determine which is the most profitable and popular product with customers, to target those products for discontinuation.
* foreign currency converter, to check value of Swiss bank account (maximum 11 places plus decimal).
* personal family-member calculation subroutines, example, enter number of creepy MBA sons going to Yale law school, calculator responds with amount of tuition required quarterly (limit 7 figures plus decimal).
* major capital destruction probability programs. HP responded specifically to NASA management on this one, similar to when they responded to NASA on the 41C years ago. So when Dittermore burnt up the 2nd shuttle, he takes his 12C, enters the amount of major capital destruction caused by not listening to engineering, enters the gross annual income of the organization, assets and earnings, calculator responds with most likely payraise to the individual holding responsibility for the capital destruction. 2nd shift to calculate 'bonus' amount and number of share options awarded after media coverage cools off.
I think Carly is pretty happy with the new extra features.
NASA is going to try that last feature often, until they run out of shuttles.